Thinking Out Loud

I really enjoy my kids. I was going to write "I love my kids," but that's not as remarkable as realizing you actually enjoy being with and doing stuff with them. Yesterday, we spent the entire day together. We woke up, ate breakfast, and headed to the Backcountry store to get some climbing shoes. It just so happened to be Black Friday so we secured some killer deals. We then headed to the Front Climbing Club in SLC where we climbed for over 3 hours. It was so fun to watch my kids scale walls and work together as lead and belay. Then we picked up some groceries at Sam's Club, pizza from Little Caesar's, and watched a sappy teenage love story. We were all bawling at the ending and somehow that turned into a tickle fest. We closed with a discussion on the power and purpose of relationships. I should write about it one day. I'm grateful that I enjoy my children. I'm grateful I see them as equals and not as others to rule over. I am constantly amazed at th...

I'm digging my gratitude posts as it's pretty easy to verbalize what I'm grateful for each day. Tonight, it was all about baseball and errands. Now that I'm not so stressed running multiples businesses, I can actually head to my kids' ball games and not worry about all the work waiting for me at home. I so enjoyed walking with the kids along the park stream and then making small talk as we watched Luke's ballgame. It didn't stress me out too much either that after the game we needed to run to Dick's and get baseball pants, softball pants, and batting gloves. I even picked myself up a new pickleball paddle so I can look less ghetto in our upcoming tournaments. And when we still needed to stop at Walmart to grab some groceries and face wash, I wasn't worried about time either. Since it was already 8:30 pm, and we still hadn't eaten dinner, we grabbed some frozen burritos (kid's choice) and frozen peas to cook upon our return. We had a blast d...

What is the role of a true teacher? I think I know. A true teacher has the independence of the student top of mind. The goal is to get the student to where they no longer need the teacher. Additionally, I feel a true teacher is free of ego and pretense. They don't want their students to idealize them. In fact, they prefer to be authentic. By being vulnerable and human with their students, they create connection and prevent any disillusionment that would result if the student felt the teacher was perfect and later discovered they are not. I am a teacher. I have some ego to edge out before I can confidently claim that I am a true teacher. I still enjoy the spotlight and relish admiration. My focus is always on "how may I serve," and helping my students is paramount, however, much pleasure is still derived from being seen as "the expert" and I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I appreciate the financial remuneration. I am going to further explore and ...

I was participating in a mindfulness meditation led by Jack Kornfield wherein he shared this beautiful analogy about holding the crying child. He was teaching about the importance of sitting with uncomfortable emotions and practicing self-compassion. He spoke of RAIN, which is the acronym for recognizing the emotion, allowing the emotion, investigating the emotion, nurturing yourself through the emotion, and not identifying yourself with the emotion. Just like the loving, attentive parent who when their baby cries, checks to see if the young one needs a diaper change, or if the baby is hungry, or tired. If none of the aforementioned is needed, and the baby still wails, what next should the parents do? It's a rather simple solution. They simply hold the crying child.  And so, like the loving, nurturing parent, we too can sit with difficult emotions and just hold the crying child. Sometimes the child just needs to cry and holding the crying child is just what the baby needs.

I read once that Gandhi used to chant the words  Rama, Rama, Rama under his breath throughout the day. Rama, Rama, Rama  means God, God, God. Is it any wonder Gandhi was one of the most patient, loving men our planet has seen?  I don't know that I want to chant God, God, God all day as that doesn't really resonate with me, but chanting love, love, love, does so today I started it doing it and it has already paid off immeasurably. First, as I was driving to work this morning, I was chanting it as a truck cut me off. My thought was, "He must be in a hurry and I sometimes do that too," rather than, "What a butt!"  Furthermore, I was in a meeting today wherein I got my head bitten off by a guy in IT. It was super awkward and I wanted to tell him he was a Jack-Ass, but instead, I chanted, love, love, love, and stayed objective. He stopped by my office later today and apologized for his inappropriate behavior. Honestly, I was touched because his apology was...

Jesus said "Blessed are the peacemakers." I find it interesting that he didn't simply say, "Blessed are the peace lovers." There is a difference between "loving peace" and "making peace." I don't know many people who love conflict and tension, yet they seem to create it. IMO it is easy to say we are for peace, but harder to remember to work for it. When we find our actions generating anything contrary to peace, we should stop and work for a peaceful resolution. Blessed are those who not only love peace, but also work for it. Blessed are the peacemakers.

I used to want to serve a mission for my church. That was back when I believed what I had been taught which was that our religion was the only true religion on the earth. I was instructed that it was our duty to share these gospel truths with all the world so that they too may be saved. When I believed that this was the case, there was nothing I wanted to do more than travel the earth preaching the restored gospel to all within earshot. Now that I know that this just isn't so, I have no desire to go. I don't believe that there is only one true religion on this earth. I believe that all religions are man-made organizations designed to help people draw closer to God and accomplish good. All religions contain some beautiful truths--they have to or else no one would be drawn to them. And all religions also contain their own flare and share of the doctrines of men. Additionally, all religions do much good and all religions do their fair share of harm. I favor no one organization ove...

What if we saw everyone as a marvel? What if the word weird were replaced with marvelous? My heart marvels to think how the world would transform if everyone treated one another as a wonderful, marvelous, miracle. I love these thoughts by Pablo Casals: When will we teach our children what they are? We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your cunning fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel And when you grow up can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel? May we teach and treat each other as the marvels that we are!

What if the purpose of life is to simply transcend our differences? What if the reason we are all born into certain religions, cultures, families, etc. is so that we can rise above them? My Theory of Everything is that we were sent here to create a world-wide oneness. In my world there is no place for “God Bless America;" there is only "God bless us all." There is no “We are a peculiar people;” there is only "We are the World." The "me" over "you" or "us" over "them" mentality keeps us separate. It pits us one against another and is diametrically opposed to what we came here to achieve. I believe the purpose of mortality is to learn and grow. Of particular importance is learning how to love, serve, and bless one another. We must transcend our differences and embrace our universal humanity. We must come to see that we are more the same than we are different. Every divine soul wants to be loved, share love, feel safe and...

I had a Shaken Baby Board meeting yesterday and after the meeting I decided to swing by and see the Seamons. I have been thinking about them and wanting to stop by. I wish it were easier for me to maintain contact with Ty, but things aren't the same. And that's okay. But it has been a journey for me to become okay with it. Up until recently, I was sad about how things are so different, but now I realize everything is as it should be. Life has a way "flowing," and we should just go with the flow. Rebecca and Tyler were emotional. They had just received their MRI results. Tyler's tumor is growing. He has less time than originally predicted. The docs say he'll be gone before Christmas. We talked about death. He's ready and not afraid. I'm glad to hear him say that. I was equally glad to hear Rebecca feel brave too. I know Tyler will be fine. He's a damn fine soul. I would say I'm going to miss him, but I already do. I feel that I lost him a lo...

I was reading a quote by a Holocaust survivor discussing the horrors of war. He talked about how there are those who wait for a savior to come, one who will end all wars and one who will establish peace. He talked about how this was problematic and there existed a better way to live our lives. In his words: The seed of this culture is the determination within individuals, and then small groups and communities, to devote our lives to the greatest vision of all time: not to wait for a savior one day to deliver us; not to wait for a government to pass truly just laws; not to wait for a revolution to right the wrongs of a cruel world; and not to mount a crusade to overpower some distant source of evil beyond ourselves. Each of us singly and with all others, is answerable for creating joy through the way our lives unfold, here and now.  I grew up hearing others "hope," "wish," and "wait" for the "Second Coming" or the "Coming of our Savior...

What if your heart were the container from whence you dispensed every act? What if all you held in your internal container was love? I imagine if your heart was filled with love, then all your actions, reactions, responses--whatever you want to call them--could only be loving. Rather than try to think through what the "loving response" would be in any given situation, you could respond in no other way than love because love is all you have to give away for that is all you have stored in your response reservoir. Your heart holdings are your supply. A loving being can only respond in love. God is love. We can always trust God to supply love from his "response reservoir" for his heart holds nothing but love. I have the right container. I'm working on my heart holdings so that my only response will be love because that is all my reservoir contains.

Tonight Matt and I had the pleasure of attending Cornel West's lecture at Weber State University. First, WOW! Listening to Cornel West speak was inspiring. However, I'm not so sure it was his words that always did the inspiring. It was more his rhythym and cadence. I imagine the speech we heard tonight to be what it might have been like to hear the great Martin Luther King, Jr. opine on the mall in Washington DC. These Southern ministers are something else. Both were such powerful orators. Cornel is gifted with words. And while his elocution was beautiful to behold, I was a bit disappointed at his pessimism. Additionally, I found much of what he said to be like "tinkling brass and sounding cymbals" for he made much thunderous sound in the name of poverty and injustice, but he never once proffered any solutions. Tis easy to find what's wrong. Tis much harder--and so much more inspiriting-- to outline how to make it right. But I do have to give him props for his...

I love the reply Mother Teresa gave to those who asked her to march against the Vietnam War. No I will not march against the war, but when you have a march for peace, I'll be there. I love this reply because it is a classic example of focusing your energy on what you are for rather than on what you are against. I also find it inspiring because it reminds me of one of my favorite Martin Luther King Jr.'s quote: Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that. And so it is, love is the greatest agent for change. And as my co-worker so beautifully stated today: Love is the only unlimited resource on earth. Never use it sparingly. And I write all of this as I listen to one of my all-time favorite songs: Imagine by John Lennon. The lines are so powerful: Imagine there's no heaven It's easy if you try No hell below us Above us only sky Imagine all the people living for today Imagine there's...

I've been thinking a bit about relationships. I'm seeing them differently than I've ever seen them before. First, I realize that relationships are created in our minds. What we think about our relationships defines them. If I think my daughter is ungrateful, I will see ingratitude in all her actions. If I tell myself my coworker is annoying, I will find him extremely so.  And so it goes. What we think about others creates how we relate to them. So why not think happy, positive, loving thoughts about the people we relate with? We absolutely have the power to create amazing relationships by changing the way we think about our relations. Second, I've been thinking about the importance of loving the people in our life for who they are, not for what we need them to be. People need freedom to be who they want to be. If you love someone, you don't try to change them. That isn't love. Love is accepting someone for who they are and where they are right now. Love know...

Page told me during breakfast this morning that President Thomas S. Monson passed away last night. The realization that a great soul had left this mortal life washed over me. I wanted to pay tribute to him today so I decided I would take his framed picture with me to work and set it aside a lighted candle. It would be my way to acknowledge the illuminating affect he has had in my life and the life of so many others, as well as signify that his light lives on. Here's how it looked:   I moved him throughout the day so that I could always see him. I also spent some time reading some of his most beloved quotes. I felt his presence and my love for his great soul increased. Some of the quotes I shared with others throughout the day include: Decisions determine destiny Your future is as bright as your faith   Search inward. Reach outward. Look heavenward Never postpone a prompting We can't direct the wind but we can adjust the sails It's always b...

The past few days have been epic. We went and saw The Greatest Showman and then the Broadway musical Aida. All I can say is Music Moves Me! I learned it isn't this way for everyone for my friend said he thinks musicals are unrealistic and weird, "like who really just all the sudden bursts out in song:" Clearly this person doesn't experience his emotions like I do. For me it is perfectly normal to process my emotions musically. I burst out in song all the time in my head. For example, when I glimpse the sun setting symphonies course through my mind. When I hike in the mountains I hear hallelujah choruses. Likewise, when I listen to Beethoven or the Strumbellas, my soul takes flight. I don't know why music moves me so? I don't know why others don't feel similar strains of joy deep down inside their souls? And what is it about a man that can dance and sing that is so damn sexy? I swear watching Hugh Jackman and Zach Efron filled my heart with glee. And ev...