Thinking Out Loud

I had a revelation about reincarnation in the shower yesterday. I do not find it difficult to believe in reincarnation after this life because I have experienced reincarnation in this life several times. Two of which I'm particularly aware. First, in an effort to not mince words, perhaps what I'm about to describe isn't technically the meaning of reincarnation, but more along the lines of reinvention, however, since both instances encapsulate the death of a world, accompanied by the rebirth and remaking of a new life, I'm rolling comfortably with reincarnation. The day my world died is how I've often verbalized the shattering of my first marriage. I'll spare you the details because frankly, it's not important nor unique to me. We all suffer disappointment, betrayal, and loss at some point in life, and since none of us are what we once were, it really feels unfair, and small, to recount and belabor past perceived offenses. What I describe below shall, I ...

I subscribe to the Mindfulness Magazine and one thing I'm noticing is that serious meditators all advocate keeping a gratitude journal. I have always expressed my gratitude in my thoughts and prayers, but I've never been consistent about writing them down. I imagine keeping a daily gratitude journal would be an interesting experiment. I'm going to keep a daily record for one week--starting today--Sunday to Sunday.  I'll write my daily post about what I'm grateful for and see what comes of the practice. Today, I'm grateful for my physical health. I have such vigor for life. I love getting outside, walking, running, playing sports, breathing the fresh air, and taking in the beautiful sights. One of my greatest fears has always been becoming paralyzed for I felt I wouldn't be able to "be active" any longer. And while I wouldn't be able to play basketball, run, do yoga or any of those activities in the way that I'm used to doing them, I would...

I just had a thought today as I was on my walk. I was thinking about last Sunday when Tyler and I decided that our sign--after his passing--would be a quarter. You see, one of my favorite songs that Ty's band, Nine Spine Stickleback, sang was about a quarter, an alien space ship, and a call home. Everytime I see a quarter I will think of Tyler and I told him to leave quarters in random places for me to find so that we can continue to communicate with each other. And then today as I was walking a guy came skating by me on his longboard and I thought of Tyler and how he gave me my epic longboard for my birthday. My mind was then flooded with all the things that remind me of Tyler such as kites, diabolos, juggling balls, pristine hair cuts, classic toys,  CrossFit, rowing, burpees, shoulder presses, Italian food, Italy, pizza, pasta, KickFire and so much more, and my mind screamed, "Don't confine me to a quarter!" A quarter cannot contain all the ways Tyler will cont...

I had a Shaken Baby Board meeting yesterday and after the meeting I decided to swing by and see the Seamons. I have been thinking about them and wanting to stop by. I wish it were easier for me to maintain contact with Ty, but things aren't the same. And that's okay. But it has been a journey for me to become okay with it. Up until recently, I was sad about how things are so different, but now I realize everything is as it should be. Life has a way "flowing," and we should just go with the flow. Rebecca and Tyler were emotional. They had just received their MRI results. Tyler's tumor is growing. He has less time than originally predicted. The docs say he'll be gone before Christmas. We talked about death. He's ready and not afraid. I'm glad to hear him say that. I was equally glad to hear Rebecca feel brave too. I know Tyler will be fine. He's a damn fine soul. I would say I'm going to miss him, but I already do. I feel that I lost him a lo...

Page told me during breakfast this morning that President Thomas S. Monson passed away last night. The realization that a great soul had left this mortal life washed over me. I wanted to pay tribute to him today so I decided I would take his framed picture with me to work and set it aside a lighted candle. It would be my way to acknowledge the illuminating affect he has had in my life and the life of so many others, as well as signify that his light lives on. Here's how it looked:   I moved him throughout the day so that I could always see him. I also spent some time reading some of his most beloved quotes. I felt his presence and my love for his great soul increased. Some of the quotes I shared with others throughout the day include: Decisions determine destiny Your future is as bright as your faith   Search inward. Reach outward. Look heavenward Never postpone a prompting We can't direct the wind but we can adjust the sails It's always b...