Thinking Out Loud

Every night something special happens in my home. I call it Family Devotional.  It's pretty simple. I gather the kids around and I teach. What do I teach? Whatever I'm learning, or anything worth discussing.  Sometimes we watch TED talks; sometimes I share excerpts from books I'm reading; oft times I relate a story from work or some experience I had that day. My thoughts stimulate my children's. I have no agenda besides teaching a principle and allowing the conversation and discussion to unfold.  The best is that my children all like attending. I don't have to twist anyone's arm, and they all stay as long as we keep talking. Even when everyone is tired, or someone has homework and I tell them they are free to go, no one wants to leave early or miss any of the discussion. I am astounded that my children show up for family devotional each night with excitement. I mean it seems that most teenagers wouldn't want to spend their evenings in an ad-hoc f...

I'm amazed at the power of thought. Change your thoughts and you really will change your life. I was driving to work today dreading the tasks that laid ahead. I haven't, for a LONG time, had a dreadful feeling about going to work. It's not normal for me to feel this way as I'm usually excited to get to the office and attack my day. So what did I do? Well, I simply noticed the dreadful thought and decided to change it. It was that simple. I'm not a fan of arguing with my thoughts--I realize they come and go. I am, however, a firm believer in discarding unwanted thoughts. My thought process goes like this: Thoughts emerge I notice them I bring awareness to them and try to understand their genesis I don't judge them as either good or bad, but I do decide whether it's a thought I want to run with or leave behind If it's a thought I want to drop, I create a new thought to replace the spontaneously generated thought I'm not a fan of lett...

Jesus said "Blessed are the peacemakers." I find it interesting that he didn't simply say, "Blessed are the peace lovers." There is a difference between "loving peace" and "making peace." I don't know many people who love conflict and tension, yet they seem to create it. IMO it is easy to say we are for peace, but harder to remember to work for it. When we find our actions generating anything contrary to peace, we should stop and work for a peaceful resolution. Blessed are those who not only love peace, but also work for it. Blessed are the peacemakers.

I tried a new flexibility workout this morning and the instructor pointed out the importance of also maintaining flexibility of mind. Learning to relax and breathe through the stretch is something we can apply to much more than just our muscles. Practicing flexibility mindfully carries over powerfully to our daily interactions, reactions, relationships and thoughts. I love how yoga is changing me. I feel my muscles and mind getting stronger every day. Which reminds me of a talk given in church recently. A lady spoke about meekness. She explained how the root of the word meek comes from the same Latin root for war horse and means power under control. A war horse is an excellent example of power under control for they are expected to ride fearlessly and flawlessly into battle amidst the chaos, confusion, and clamor of war. When we train our minds and muscles to be flexible we become a powerful, in-control, war horse. We can act, not re-act, amidst incoming assaults, from a calm and cen...

I think one of the most important discoveries for me this year has been the discovery of Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris. They are both insanely intelligent atheists committed to educating the masses about the dangers of organized religion. According to Harris and Dawkins, societies should rely on science, not dogma, for their governing principles. Additionally, it has been so refreshing for me to hear intelligent people give voice to some of the very same perplexing questions I have had over the years concerning the Bible, God, and organized religions. What's ironic though is that there was a time--not all that long ago--where, because of what I was taught, I thought I would be hell-bound for listening to these heathens. Entertaining, let alone agreeing, with individuals offering arguments of their nature is programmed into believers as blaspheme. But now that I have expanded my beliefs, I find it fascinating to study and learn from the argument of others. I want to discover ev...

Here's a quote by Carl Jung that I love and can relate to: What was great in the morning will be little at evening, and what in the morning was true at evening will have become a lie. I remember reading Gandhi's autobiography and how in the opening pages of his book he confessed his hesitation to pen his thoughts for he feared what he wrote today would not ring true later in his life. I too began a blog over a year ago called Janelle's Journal. I wrote that my purpose was to "Think out loud," and confessed that what I believed today would surely be different from what I believed tomorrow. The evolution of thought is real, especially as we give ourselves permission to drop beliefs that don't support our being and adopt those that feed our spirits. I my evening hours, I'm finding there is very little of which I'm certain. In fact, the only thing I'm certain of is change. I'm especially certain that--over time--my thoughts will change. As I...

You will never believe what happened today. Eduard flew in from Spain and we were setting up our studio. As we carried in the equipment we joked about the time Cory dropped the brand new $4500 camera and broke the camera and lens. Sure enough, as we were packing up, Eddie dropped the camera and broke the lens. It really wasn't a big deal. He felt sick and I felt bad about that. I mean it's crummy because it's my personal camera and I'm not going to make him pay for it and so there's that. But people are more important than things so who cares right? I thought nothing more of it and we finished up our preparations for the upcoming shoot. Later tonight Eduard texted me to apologize once again and to thank me for being so awesome. I again told him no worries and to rest well. I trust everything will work out fine. It always does. The new lens is $2,000. Life is funny like that. Oh and as we were walking back to my office--and Eddie was apologizing profusely, I re...

I have a newfound appreciation and understanding for the word resistance. In yoga, we spend a lot of time stretching because as we increase flexibility and mobility, we eliminate resistance, and resistance, not lack of strength, is actually what makes most poses so difficult. Before becoming a serious student of yoga, I thought my inability to perform certain poses was due to a lack of strength. But as I’ve grown in my practice, I’ve witnessed firsthand the benefits of eliminating resistance. Through increased flexibility, I've been able to achieve poses I never before thought possible. In fact, the more I've eliminated resistance, the less strength I require. Resistance doesn't just prevent us from mastering exceedingly difficult yoga poses, it can also hold us back from pursuing our dreams. Negative thoughts, disbelief, doubts, naysayers, critics, and discouragement are just a few of the many faces of resistance. Like mastering difficult yoga poses, if we hope to "...

I've probably already blogged about this movie, but last night I watched it with the kids. They loved it, but hated the ending. I tried to explain the beauty of the story, and while I did succeed in opening their eyes they still preferred an ending where Sebastian married Mia and they both lived happily ever after. La La Land is magical for me because it's ending is life-like rather than fairy-tale. It's a powerful reminder that not all relationships last, but their impact does. I like it's helpful to think of our life like a movie or play. There are acts and actors/actresses who cross our stage. Some have major roles, some only minor, but each plays an important part. Those that we form relationships with become our greatest teachers. They add to the plot by providing, twists and turns, ups and downs, agonies and ecstasies, and trials and triumphs. I have had several relationships already that have positively impacted my play. My former spouse gave me many fond mem...

I used to struggle with leaving anything undone. Finishing, for me, was imperative. Perhaps it's because of adages like these: Stick to a task till it sticks to you, beginners are many and finishers are few. Winners never quit and quitters never win. Such sayings surely played a part in my being unable to leave any task incomplete. Finishing, of course, isn't always a bad thing. In fact, every morning I'm grateful I cleaned the kitchen before going to bed so that I don't wake up to last night's dishes. Sometimes, I'll admit, it's terribly inconvenient to make everyone wait till I finish the dishes before we move on to our next adventure, but I'm getting better at being able to leave things unfinished, knowing full well that if it's important, I'll get it done soon enough--and if I don't get back around to it, finishing must have not been that imperative. The problem with thinking everything has a finish, or is simply a task that must b...

Luke had a dentist appointment after school on Tuesday. Since I was at work, he rode his scooter. Later, I received this message via Facebook from the dental assistant: Janelle I hope this isn’t weird to you. I work for Kip Jones I’m not sure if you’d even remember me. Anyway, I was working today when your not so little Luke came in. I just wanted to tell you how impressed I was with him. What an outstanding boy you have, incredibly happy, upbeat, positive and respectful boy. I was so impressed by the spirit he carries; not only did I notice but so did the other ladies in our office. I couldn’t help but think “gosh dang his mom is doing something (probably lots of things) right!  Just thought you might want to know how amazing you are and how amazing he is. If you wanna ever mom tutor me, I have three boys and I would be so proud to have my kids behave and have the confidence Luke has. I replied: Oh my gosh! How could anyone think such a thoughtful compliment weird? You...

It seems like everyone these days is talking about finding their purpose or wondering if they are living their purpose? I have often wondered the same thing. And I still wonder because I feel like I have some great thing I'm here to accomplish and honestly, I'm still not sure exactly what that one great thing is. In fact, the longer I live the more I realize it's not just one great thing, but many things. And rather than worry about whether or not I'm living my purpose I have taken Dr. Dyer's advice and focused my energies on living my life on purpose trusting that in time my greater purpose will surface. What exactly does it mean to live on purpose ? For me, I feel on purpose when I'm loving and serving others. In fact, nothing brings me greater peace, happiness, fulfillment, and joy than giving my self away in the service of others. Some ascended masters said it this way: She that loseth her life for my sake shall find it-- Jesus The best way to fin...

I used to want to serve a mission for my church. That was back when I believed what I had been taught which was that our religion was the only true religion on the earth. I was instructed that it was our duty to share these gospel truths with all the world so that they too may be saved. When I believed that this was the case, there was nothing I wanted to do more than travel the earth preaching the restored gospel to all within earshot. Now that I know that this just isn't so, I have no desire to go. I don't believe that there is only one true religion on this earth. I believe that all religions are man-made organizations designed to help people draw closer to God and accomplish good. All religions contain some beautiful truths--they have to or else no one would be drawn to them. And all religions also contain their own flare and share of the doctrines of men. Additionally, all religions do much good and all religions do their fair share of harm. I favor no one organization ove...

No this post isn't going to be about yoga, even though I have a not-so-secret obsession with it. This post has to do with being willing to bend. Have you ever met someone who is rigid in their opinions? They are always right, and they have a hard time considering any one elses's viewpoint. Rigid, inflexible people aren't that fun to be around. Being inflexible isn't healthy. Just think about it: We are born bendy. :) Babies are so flexible. Think of how much better you can take a fall if you aren't brittle? Learning to walk could be downright dangerous if you weren't a bendy baby. Old people that are stiff fall and break their hip! Perhaps there is a lesson in that. . . you were born bendy and when you die you are stiff. I believe that one of the secrets to a long and--if not long--at least happy life is to remain flexible. Realize that there is no "ONE" right way. There are many ways. ALLOW others to walk their way so long as it doesn't ha...

The weather is gorgeous today! I have been cleaning the garage and took Thor on a walk. I basked in the warmth of the sun mid winter. I passed a neighbor and mentioned how much I loved the weather today and then I caught myself saying how I shouldn't enjoy it so because we needed the snow. After exchanging a few more words I walked on and thought, "Nature knows it needs to snow why should I worry?" And with that thought I decided I would no longer qualify my enjoyment of the day with the statement about how we shouldn't enjoy it so because of our need for snow. Nature knows. If we need more snow, we will get it. I trust in the universal life force to supply just what we need when we need it. Everything is always as it should be. If there is a drought, Nature has a mighty fine reason. If there is a hurricane that wreaks havoc on the coast, Nature is serving its purpose. Our job is to go with the flow and hopefully, enjoy it as it goes. So grateful for this awaren...

What if we saw everyone as a marvel? What if the word weird were replaced with marvelous? My heart marvels to think how the world would transform if everyone treated one another as a wonderful, marvelous, miracle. I love these thoughts by Pablo Casals: When will we teach our children what they are? We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your cunning fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel And when you grow up can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel? May we teach and treat each other as the marvels that we are!

I debated whether to title my post The Wisdom of Obscurity or Quiet Strength, and then I settled on A Low Key Soul. I really like them all because each is a powerful reminder of the way I want to be. I grew up thinking everything was a competition. I not only wanted to do my best, but I thought I needed to be the best. I now understand the wisdom of just being. Life is so much more enjoyable when you aren't striving, grasping, clinging, and competing. There is so much to gain from being A Low-Key Soul. For me, being low key doesn't mean being lazy and without drive. It simply means people matter most, my possessions, positions, and abilities don't determine my worth nor the worth of others. Life is not a competition and there is an abundance of everything for everyone. I don't need to toot my own horn, or clamor for credit. I can want more for others than I want for myself, and I can be gracious in all my interactions. My son was just sharing a moment of distress wh...

Here's a thought, concern yourself with your self. Quit worrying about others or trying to understand why others did what they did or do what they do. Instead, look within and try to understand yourself. I can't tell you how many books I've read about trying to understand others perspective or the merits of putting yourself in the shoes of others. I'm not saying these aren't helpful techniques. It is good to think of where others are coming from as it can increase your understanding. But I'm discovering that actual change comes when we realize from whence we are coming. We can't change the behavior of others. And let's face it, we really can't understand their behavior either because we really can't know what they are thinking or feeling. But we can examine ourselves. We can analyze what we are thinking and feeling or simply just witness it. I have been using this technique a lot the past while and it's quite revealing. I was watching a m...

I've been meaning to post about this for some time but keep forgetting. It comes from something I read by Wayne Dyer wherein he discussed the merits of freeing yourself from the good and bad opinion of others. He said: What you think of me is none of my business I love that so much. Might I add: What I think of you is none of your business I am so grateful for a wise man who once told me long ago to stop caring what people think. I wasn't able to do it then, but today I can say that I no longer live my life to please anyone else but myself. I have learned to "follow my heart" and "to thine own self be true." I've never felt more peace, happiness, and joy. Those who persist in living their lives at the mercy of the masses will find certain insanity for "no man can serve two masters." So stop the crazy! March to the beat of your own drum. Play the song of your own soul, and bask in the liberating sound of your own symphonies! It will make...

Today was a fun day in Hawaii and while I’d love to chronicle all our adventures, one is more important to note than all others. It occurred at Waikiki Beach. Page lost her goggles when a large wave pummeled her. She and her sisters search around the surf to no avail. They were gone. She came up on the beach, where I was enjoying a good book, and vented her frustrations. I told her I was sorry that happened and assured her that it wasn’t a big deal and we could rent some other ones or buy her some new ones. She, however, could not be consoled as she was positive her day, and in fact her entire trip, were now ruined. I exercised my Buddha wisdom and reminded her of pain and suffering. I told her there wasn’t anything she could now do to bring her goggles back as the Sea Gods had claimed them and only they could give them back if they wanted and it would be in their own due time if they felt so inclined. Rather than be upset that her siblings were no longer interested in searching for th...