Thinking Out Loud

I'm no expert on relationships except when it comes to my own. There are many relationship theories out there and I have come up with my own relationship laws.  Here are just a few: 1) I am responsible for the quality of my relationships. 2) I only maintain relationships that are positive, productive, and profitable. 3) I teach people how to treat me. I'm okay ending relationships. I now live by the mantra of "I love you, but I love myself more." I am okay being alone. In fact, I prefer solitude to sociality. It is not selfish to want alone time nor is it selfish to make and keep appointments with yourself. It is your responsibility to speak up for what you want and need in a relationship. Assertiveness is essential if you want to avoid miscommunications and misunderstandings. I was programmed to suck it up and serve in relationships and I am still unable to express what I want, initially. I'm working on being straightforward and expressing my need...

I'm reading a really good book right now called Tools of Titans  by Tim Ferriss. I don't recall the individual who said it, but I've decided to adopt the Hell Yeah! principle. The  Hell Yeah!  principle means I say "no" to everything that I don't feel like saying "Hell Yeah!" to. I've spent my entire life doing things I don't really want to do simply because someone asked me to do it. I've allowed guilt, and a desire to please, or at least not to hurt someone else's feelings, rule my actions. This behavior has allowed everyone else's agenda to become my agenda. The past few months, heck ever since "losing my religion," I've decided that this type of behavior is not something I want to continue. Instead of acting out of obligation, obedience, or duty, I've decided to only respond to those calls that excite my being.  If the invitation, request, activity, belief, or idea, does not enthuse me, I don't do ...

I'm not sure who controls the street signs over the freeway, but today it made my day when on my way to work I saw the "Go Jazz" and "Zero percent chance of Thunder!"Whoever was so clever to program such a fun daily message, thank you! It made me smile and was a welcome change from the usual "29 deaths so far on Utah roads." Some reason, whenever, I see the daily death toll, I calcuate how many people were killed first quarter, which leads me to calculate the rolling rate for the remainder of the year. I don't like thinking that by end of Q4, we will have had 126 deaths on Utah's roads. Much better to think of the Jazz walloping the Thunder Wednesday night. What kind of street sign are you? Do you share daily messages of dread? Or do you send daily messages of hope, love, and fun? I don't want to be a Debbie Downer. I want people who read me to feel inspired.

Here's a true principle that will revolutionize your life: No one owes you anything It is super empowering and liberating to go through your day not making demands or expecting anything from anybody. Treat everyone as the divine being that they are and give up on trying to control them, life, or anything that really isn't mean to be controlled. Life is meant to be lived, experienced, and enjoyed. Children of God were created to be free and able to exercise their agency. You only make yourself--and others--miserable when you seek to control, make demands, or set expectations.  Think about the last thing that upset you. If it was a person, what was it that they did? How would your feelings or response have been different had you espoused the belief that "no one owes you anything?" That's right, no one owes you gratitude, appreciation, help, money, kindness, or even respect. You are owed nothing by life or by any persons. If it was a circumstance that let you ...

Today was fun. We had a surprise birthday luncheon for Kbear. She turns 40 tomorrow. We all met at 99 Thai Fusion. I was especially happy to see Chalyce there. We were able to chat for a moment and she asked me why I was so sad. I said I didn't feel sad. She said it had to do with my business partner and when she said that I felt the sadness shoot through my body and down my left leg (which she pointed out). We talked about Tyler and what we'd been through the past 6 months. I told her I thought I was done being sad and that I had moved on. She said this was heavy and would always be with me. I am tearing up now as I recall the conversation. I have been thinking a lot about our conversation and sadness since then. I used to think sadness was bad or a sign of weakness. I'm reminded of the Disney show Inside Out where the emotion Joy is always trying to contain the emotion Sadness. But as we learn in the movie, Sadness is essential for it helps us sympathize with others. ...