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Sadness

Today was fun. We had a surprise birthday luncheon for Kbear. She turns 40 tomorrow. We all met at 99 Thai Fusion. I was especially happy to see Chalyce there. We were able to chat for a moment and she asked me why I was so sad. I said I didn't feel sad. She said it had to do with my business partner and when she said that I felt the sadness shoot through my body and down my left leg (which she pointed out).

We talked about Tyler and what we'd been through the past 6 months. I told her I thought I was done being sad and that I had moved on. She said this was heavy and would always be with me. I am tearing up now as I recall the conversation. I have been thinking a lot about our conversation and sadness since then. I used to think sadness was bad or a sign of weakness. I'm reminded of the Disney show Inside Out where the emotion Joy is always trying to contain the emotion Sadness. But as we learn in the movie, Sadness is essential for it helps us sympathize with others. Sadness, expressed, makes way for happiness and healing, and healing through sadness leads to Joy and emotional maturity.

I feel more serious, sane, and sympathetic. I feel more content, peaceful, and contemplative. I feel less judgment and striving, and I feel so much love for myself and others. If this has all come through sadness then I am happy I'm sad. I've never felt so perfectly whole. Thank you Chalyce for your observations that brought this awareness front of mind.
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