Thinking Out Loud

I was participating in a mindfulness meditation led by Jack Kornfield wherein he shared this beautiful analogy about holding the crying child. He was teaching about the importance of sitting with uncomfortable emotions and practicing self-compassion. He spoke of RAIN, which is the acronym for recognizing the emotion, allowing the emotion, investigating the emotion, nurturing yourself through the emotion, and not identifying yourself with the emotion. Just like the loving, attentive parent who when their baby cries, checks to see if the young one needs a diaper change, or if the baby is hungry, or tired. If none of the aforementioned is needed, and the baby still wails, what next should the parents do? It's a rather simple solution. They simply hold the crying child.  And so, like the loving, nurturing parent, we too can sit with difficult emotions and just hold the crying child. Sometimes the child just needs to cry and holding the crying child is just what the baby needs.

This morning as I was doing my plasticity routine, my mind caught hold on my teacher's words concerning the connectivity of the entire body. We were particularly focusing on stretching our side and lateral fascial lines and as we engaged in postures that stretched the entire superficial lateral and side body lines he elaborated on how beneficial it is to stretch the entire body rather than isolating individual parts. As the science of stretching has evolved, we have come to recognize how everything in the body is connected and how understanding how one part of the body effects and interacts with another is key to developing and training the body effectively. In speaking of the dangers of not seeing the interconnectedness of the body and instead focusing on isolation he said:  Dissection is something you do after you die.  I think the reason I liked his words so much is that I have been meditating on the interconnectedness of every living organism on planet Earth. I'm equally...

This title has dualistic meanings. First, read I can't believe what I used to believe in an astonished tone as in "I have no idea how I actually once believed some of the things I used to believe." Second, read I can't believe what I used to believe as a matter of fact in that I can't go back. My eyes have been opened and I can't unsee all the reasons why I no longer believe what I used to believe. As I wrote yesterday, I believe we already have everything we need within . We don't need a Holy Ghost, teacher, prophet, bishop, or parent to tell us what to do. We need to find a quiet place to think, ponder, meditate, or pray. Looking back over my life, it's all so clear why I never received answers to my prayers. I was looking for those answers to come from without  instead of looking for the answers within. I remember praying to know which college to attend. I had received scholarships to a couple of universities and felt that surely God had a plan an...

Perhaps this morning's realization as I meditated sprung from yesterday's post. As I sat in silence, I realized that I already have everything I need inside of me. Perhaps therein lies the power of meditation. Through silently sitting we calm the mind and quiet the inner and outer disturbances that cloud our judgment and create separation between us and our divine center. I love this thought as expressed by Yogananda: Any erroneous thought of man is a result of an imperfection, large or small, in his discernment. The goal of yoga science is to calm the mind, that without distortion it may hear the infallible counsel of the Inner Voice. And what is this "Inner Voice?" Some call it "Conscience," "Light of Christ," "Holy Ghost," "Spirit," or "Intuition." Semantics aside, I believe that this inner voice is divine soul guidance that appears naturally in humankind during those times when our mind is calm. Our inner voi...

I'm studying a bit about Yogis and I really like the idea they teach about how God is found within. In fact, they believe that if you can't find God within, you will never find him elsewhere. Additionally, once you find him within, you can't help but see him everywhere. I guess that is why yogis spend so much time meditating. They take the time to quiet their minds and commune with the universal, divine conscience. Meditation allows them to go within where they can attune themselves to the infinite. Additionally interesting is this idea that we have to travel to sacred places to find God. Not so, God is always with us. In fact, we can make any place a sacred place by simply worshipping there. No need to go to a temple, ashram, cave, grotto, meditation hall, if you are on a mountain, let that be your sacred spot. If you are in your room, let that be your hallowed location. These ideas remind me of the truth I discovered when I studied abroad in Israel. I thought that b...

Wherever you go, there you are. I asked my kids tonight what they thought that meant. We were eating dinner at Outback Steakhouse. I suppose it contains many meanings, but tonight I was struck by the fact that we can't run away from our problems because our problems aren't outside of us, they are within. Whenever we want to run or leave a difficult situation behind, we are really running from our own inability to handle the situation. If we want to make progress, real progress in the area of self-improvement, it behooves us to figure out what it is inside we need to really work on. I can leave my job because I don't enjoy the culture, or I can look within and figure out what is really going on. What's really the problem is that I'm not feeling valued. Sure I'm being compensated well, but for a lady hungry for words of affirmation, working without them is difficult. So I can leave and sure enough when I arrive somewhere else where I don't feel appreciated...

I wrote the title of this post My Budding Lotus after I had written these notes following my first full 20-minute meditation session. Today marks day 2 of my 30-day practice of meditation mindfully for a total of 20 minutes. I'm giving myself the flexibility to choose to do 2, 10-minute sessions or one 20-minute session. We have been asked to journal after each session and here is what I wrote after today's session: I just did my first 20 minutes silent meditation. I used the guided meditation included in this course and was surprised to find that the 20 minutes went by exceedingly fast. For the first time, I didn't find myself wondering how much time I had left meditating, feel like I was wasting time, or feel like I should be getting something accomplished. Also interesting was the fact that my Goldendoodle decided to join me. I thought, as he snuggled down beside me, that I should put him out of the room so I could focus on my practice, but as I experienced his lovin...

I purchased the course The Power of Awareness from Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield and I started the first few classes today as I cleaned house. It has been fun to experience the evolution of my thoughts concerning mindfulness meditation practice. Initially, I found myself multi-tasking during the course work and didn't bother to stop adn participate in the meditation practices. I was soaking up the stories and teachings, but I was too busy to stop working to sit and meditate. My whole agenda was to figure out how to meditate while being productive. I'm not giving up on that quest, but about halfway into lesson two I realized that if I didn't surrender and do as Tara and Jack taught, I'd never expereince the results their practice promises to deliver. I have to follow their guidance. So I just now completed a guided meditation. It was wonderful. Don't get me wrong, I've done guided meditations before, but today's was different. Probably because I've be...

I read once that Gandhi used to chant the words  Rama, Rama, Rama under his breath throughout the day. Rama, Rama, Rama  means God, God, God. Is it any wonder Gandhi was one of the most patient, loving men our planet has seen?  I don't know that I want to chant God, God, God all day as that doesn't really resonate with me, but chanting love, love, love, does so today I started it doing it and it has already paid off immeasurably. First, as I was driving to work this morning, I was chanting it as a truck cut me off. My thought was, "He must be in a hurry and I sometimes do that too," rather than, "What a butt!"  Furthermore, I was in a meeting today wherein I got my head bitten off by a guy in IT. It was super awkward and I wanted to tell him he was a Jack-Ass, but instead, I chanted, love, love, love, and stayed objective. He stopped by my office later today and apologized for his inappropriate behavior. Honestly, I was touched because his apology was...

Had a fun interchange with a friend about equality and reincarnation. Here's the convo (my replies are in blue): What are your thoughts on gender? Today I'm feeling pretty pissed off about being a woman and not from a cultural repression standpoint just like pure biology. It feels like a punishment. Well according to mormon doctrine. . you are inferior IMO You are a help meet for man and you are part of a harem in the eternities . You get to make babies for your King. .   you also get to give yourself unto him and he only receives you . . as he does not give himself unto you for he needs to be able to receive multiple women Darn Eve. . shouldn’t have eaten that damn fruit I know that's why i want a different opinion haha most organized religions oppress women though. So it’s not just mormons. But it sounds right. It does suck more than being a man.   I believe it that it's a punish...

Yesterday as I wrote the lines "death does not discriminate," I realized the same could be said about life. My friend told me all about the trials she's facing as we walked yesterday and my heart ached for her and her family. I couldn't help but think of how we all get our fair share of hard times. In fact, it led to me marveling at what I'm now calling the equality of life.  We all have lessons we need to learn and life so generously supplies our instruction. None of us are spared. We each face hard times, disappointments, sickness, trials, tribulations, and death. We all get our fair share of troubles. The refrain, "Life isn't fair!" isn't a fair statement. Life is perfectly fair. We all are born. We all die. And somewhere between our beginning and our end, we all receive our fair share of heartache and joy! I don't see life as hard. I choose instead to see the meaning. As my friend recounted her travails and wondered what others would ...

Today I was able to stop in and visit Tyler Seamons. We had a great chat and I left contemplating The Duties of Death. Essentially, accepting death helps us embrace life. Rebecca and Tyler have started doing everything they've always wanted to do as they've realized their time together is running out. There won't be many more tomorrows, and their "someday"(s) are limited. They are living completely in the now because now is all they have. Want to know what I find interesting? We are no different than Tyler and Rebecca. Death is coming for each one of us too. In fact, we were born to die, and each day our death gets closer. The reality of mortality is such that we all will die and most of us won't get a warning. Most of us won't get the "heads up" that our time is almost up so that we can hurry up and start living. In this regard, Tyler and Rebecca are blessed. They get time to wrap things up. Close things down. Plan a funeral. Take family pictu...

Pursue Your Passion! This is something we hear all the time and I'm not gonna lie, it jazzes my soul. But what if you don't know exactly what your passion is? How can you pursue something you are unsure of? Plus, is it really reasonable to quit your day job and try to find your passion so you can pursue it? The only thing I do know for sure is that I love whatever I'm doing until I don't. And that changes on a dime. Seriously, the only thing consistent in my life is change. I can do something for a while and I totally love it, until I don't. I seem to bore of just one thing quickly. I think it's because what I really enjoy is the challenge of something new. I love the rush of figuring out systems, optimizing processes, troubleshooting, organizing content and people, and the rush of getting and things up and running. I like to compare it to the thrill of falling in love vs. being in love. The energy and excitement that comes with a new relationship are what inv...

Today's post about Don't Mind the Gap stems from yesterday's post about Vivid Mind Visitations. Toward the end of my post, I talked about the seemingly natural need for humans to fill voids. Basically, the human mind seems unable to handle a vacuum. What is the compulsive need to be able to explain and understand everything? Why do we find uncertainty and ambiguity so scary? Why can't we become comfortable with not having answers? Why can't we be okay with saying, "I don't yet know what this or that means, or I don't know quite how to explain that, but I do know that a perfectly reasonable explanation does indeed exist, and I trust that one day I will understand perfectly what that explanation is, but for now, I'm not going to mind the gap--I'm going to be okay holding a void? In fact, this very void is what I'm going to use to hold a place for the understanding that is coming. Time will tell.  Here's my poetic twist: Understanding ...

I've got an emerging theory about supernatural occurrences that I'm experimenting with. I am trying to confidently conclude that all my experiences with spirits have been--and will continue to be-- occurrences solely of the mind.  Rather than recreate my thoughts, I'll add the conversation I had via text with a friend wherein I feel I already adequately made my ideas quite clear: I had such a fun experience last night. E very now and then I have what I like to call “spirit” encounters. Well, what is fascinating to me is that the more I have studied dreams, lucid dreaming, the subconscious mind, and the supernatural, the more I realize that my "spirit encounters" are actually dream paralysis, lucid dreams, and subconscious visions all happening in my mind. I've never done drugs so I don’t know what a hallucination is like, but I wonder if a hallucination is similar to what I've experienced in these dream/waking states? Wow, that’s a big revela...

I may have overstepped my bounds, but I couldn't help sharing my two cents with a group of my girlfriends concerning parental guidance. One of my friends wrote: As for me.... I'm busy just doing my mom thing and crying a lot over lasts with my senior. 😂 He's a little unsure about leaving for his mission immediately. Thinking he now wants to do a semester at school before going. I on the other hand spend a ton of time on my knees and in the Temple in his behalf so if you have extra time in your prayers.... please add him. He'd be an incredible missionary and would get in homes most others can't because people love him..... he just needs to see that in himself! So.... other than that.... just busy with life, but good and blessed! Love you all and grateful you're well and good!   To which I replied: OH I love your momma heart and your epic friend heart too! I will pray for you and your son, but you might wish I didn’t haha. . . I’...

Last night I took some time to teach my kids about the wonderful woman Susan B Anthony. History has portrayed her as less than she really was. Many have made her out to be a shrewd spinster who fought for suffrage when in reality she was a brilliant, beautiful woman who consciously chose to be a maid in order to focus all her energies on fighting for suffrage. She emphatically declared that she would not rest till woman was enfranchised. Equality was her aim and she would settle for nothing less. "Failure is Impossible!" was her war cry and has become my own. We really can accomplish anything we put our minds to. I love that Susan B Anthony decided at a young age what her life mission would be about and she allowed nothing to deter or sidetrack her efforts. Her aim was suffrage and nothing would distract her. She asked Elizabeth Cadie Stanton to coach her into a powerful public speaker and she worked tirelessly till she did indeed achieve suffrage for women. Her dedicatio...

What does Abundance in Action look like? I would explain it, but honestly, Annie Dillard has already done so poetically and perfectly: One of the few things I know about writing is this: spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it, all, right away, every time. Do not hoard what seems good for a later place in the book, or for another book: give it, give it all, give it now. The impulse to save something good for a better place later is the signal to spend it now. Something more will arise for later, something better. These things fill from behind, from beneath, like well water. The impulse to keep to yourself what you have learned is not only shameful, it is destructive. Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you. I love this line particularly, “Give it, give it all, give it now. . . something more will arise for later, something better!” Truer words have never been spoken. It is impossible to give yourself poor. The Universe smiles kindly upon those who g...

Since my blog is pretty much my journal, I thought I'd paste in some of the kind emails I've received so far since my presentation yesterday. I think I'll go back and read them if I'm ever needing an ego boost. :) Hi Thanks for an amazing presentation.  You are an inspiration. I took so much from your personality. I just was very impressed you have a lucky husband and family.  Looking forward to receiving the YouTube presentation. I can’t wait to get home and start implementing.  Have a safe trip home.  Yasha  Janelle! I just met you on the elevator and feel dumb that we were cut short on talking because my floor came so quick. First, both of the classes you gave were incredible. Really. You gave a TON of actionable, super valuable information, and you were fun to listen to. I feel that your classes were well worth the money and appreciate you sharing so much value. Briefly about myself, and only because you asked me and ...

WOW! Today was awesome! I had so much fun presenting today. My courses flew by and we didn't even get through all the content. I guess that's expected when you try to transmit everything you've learned in less than 3 hours. Additionally, I received some of the nicest compliments on my content and presentation skills. I love when my audience is tickled beyond delight. Three other noteworthy items I want to mention for today: First, I had the most incredible salads. My chopped cobb for lunch was divine, as was my dinner strawberry spinach. Second, the number of companies that came up after and tried to recruit me away from Nutra was flattering. I didn't tell any of them no either. I simply told them to shoot me over an offer and I'd consider. Figure it would be silly to not at least see what they put on the table. If it's a better fit for me. . . let's just say, I'd love to work from home again and be somewhere I can continue to add exceptional val...

Here's a cool quote for the day: I'd rather live a life of "oh wells" than "what ifs." I've been thinking a lot about how you only have one life to live. The reality of mortality really helps you keep a proper perspective. As I contemplate my mission and what it is I hope to accomplish while I'm here, I realize that money is a poor reason to do anything. I mean don't get me wrong, we need to make money in order to do certain things, but working a job instead of working your dream is not for me. I'm looking forward to a little time away where I can get some clarity on what it is I really want to do while I'm here walking this earth. I'm finally figuring out a few things about myself. I'm starting to learn what I do and don't like. I'm learning what brings me joy and fulfillment and what I can do without. I've known for awhile now that I'm an introverted extrovert or an extroverted introvert. Basically, when I...

I'm reading an incredible book by Stephen Cope called The Great Work of Your Life. Many of the ideas are taken from the Bhagavad Gita. One quote from Krishna that I love is when Krishna says this to the warrior Arjuna: Strive constantly to serve the welfare of the world; by devotion to selfless work one attains the supreme goal of life. Do your work with the welfare of others always in mind. Pretty awesome huh? Even more awesome is when Krishna says: Do not worry about the outcome. Success or failure are not your concern. It is better to fail at your own dharma than to succeed at the dharma of another.  Again, Krishna says: Concerning one's dharma, one should not vacilate! And: If you bring forth what is within you it will save you. If you do not bring forth what is in you, it will destroy you! I feel something greater than what I'm currently doing burning in my soul. I've felt this stirring for as long as I can remember. I have a dharma, it's big...

A friend shared this epic presentation with me today. I really love this man's mind. He's brilliant! So much of what he said resonated with me--especially as I apply it to corporations and organized religion. Trust is paramount. Trusted decision making without hierarchy is the future. The courage to innovate without permission. Peer to peer is the future. Morality First. Rules Second. Watch the video and see why Andreas Antonopolous is a brilliant and radical revolutionary. Every important innovation was illegal. :) Forget concentrated power that is outdated with the everyday people who hold the actual information. Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Think morality first, rules second.

I'm getting so excited for my upcoming Prosper Show presentation. It's this next week in Las Vegas where I'm scheduled to teach back to back workshops. One is helping retailers create an Amazon Video Strategy and the other one is teaching them how to leverage YouTube to grow their private label brands. So far, I have over 115 people attending the workshops and they are each paying $349 to be there. I am being paid half of the tuition which means I will earn in one day (5.5 hours of teaching) more money than I earned in my entire first year of teaching. Seriously, my contract as a teacher for the 1999 school year at Weber High was for $20,100. I left teaching as a profession after a few years because I didn't want to be financially tight. I wanted to be able to earn more money so I could better provide for my family. Little did I know then that later, teaching and consulting would provide me considerable income. The other day I was hiking a mountain and I had just re...

Last night was incredible! As my head hit my pillow, I thought of all the people in my life right now who are teaching me so much. My heart swelled with gratitude for all the lessons I'm learning. I thought of how each individual has arrived in my life right on time, enabling me to practice my beliefs. I am still marveling at the perfection of it all. The universe really does have the most amazing way of providing everything we need to learn, grow and progress--what I like to call leveling up.  Everything is always as it should be.

My epic friend wrote the most incredible post yesterday entitled Memento Mori . "Memento Mori" is a Latin phrase signifying the importance of always being mindful of death. Essentially, one should always remember that you are going to one day die. Some may feel this is a morbid thought to keep top of mind, but I believe death is what gives life meaning. If we all were going to live forever, and we all had forever to accomplish everything, what urgency would there ever be to get things done today? What significance would relationships have if we could have each other always and forever? It's the knowing that one day there will be no more of what we now have that helps us treasure that which we do have. Time is precious because one day this life that we are now living will be no more. I'm not saying that I believe there is no life after death, but I am saying that I'm not sure that the life we live hereafter will be anything like the life I'm now living. I...

We are in charge of what we see. If what we are seeing isn't true for us then we can change our perspective and adopt new views. Here's a cool quote by Abraham Lincoln: I shall try to correct errors when shown to be errors, and I shall adopt new views so fast as they shall appear to be true views. What if what you believed to be true, simply wasn't? How often do we challenge our views? I'm reading a wonderful book called Excuses Begone: How to Change Lifelong Self-Defeating Thinking Habits by Dr. Wayne Dyer. In the book, Dr. Dyer encourages the reader to challenge their habitual thoughts instead of simply accepting them as "gospel truths." Too many of us have allowed our culture, habitual thoughts, parents, teachers, bosses, etc. to determine our truths. What if they are wrong? What if what you have come to believe simply isn't true?  Do you have a process to examine the truth of your thoughts or believes? You can easily start discovering your truths ...

Today was fast and testimony meeting at church. As I watched people testify of what they believe to be true, I realized beliefs are beautiful things. One lady testified how her belief in Jesus Christ and the Resurrection gave her hope that she would one day be reunited with her deceased mother again. A man testified how his belief that Jesus Christ had purified him from his past sins gave him strength and the ability to feel the spirit again. A visitor stood to testify that those who mourn for loved ones lost will eventually feel the sadness lessen and life will get better. She lost her husband 4 years ago and it is finally getting easier. Another gentleman testified how he knew the church was true. Another woman testified how she knew the LDS church was the only true church and place where people can find peace. And another man testified that he knew we had living prophets on earth today and how wonderful to know that he has God's will and doctrine for him. I like listening to p...

I love getting rid of stuff. We spent yesterday and today going through our rooms and getting rid of stuff we really don't need, use, or want. The kids are as jazzed about it as I am. In fact, we just returned from dropping off a mini-van full of stuff to the DI and dumpster. Our house still has much to purge, but we are making progress. I told the kids, "Wouldn't it be wonderful to get rid of all these dishes?" Seriously, why do we need so many of everything. Does any one person really need more than one bowl, one plate, one spoon, one knife, one fork, and one cup? I believe when you have less, you care more. Meaning, if I only had one bowl, I'd treasure and take care of it. I'd make sure to clean it after each use and I'd put it away. I'd be careful not to break it. And the other cool thing about having less is that when you have less, you need less. For example, if we all only had one of every dishware, we'd not need a dishwasher. We would eac...

I just want this saved for the record. We were cleaning this weekend and Luke decided to sell some of his stuff. We downloaded the KSL app on my phone and I told him to have at it. He laid out his legos, took a pic and wrote up this description: This whole box of LEGOS is a dream come true for any kid! (Or grownup) This box, weighing just over 15 pounds contains sets like Star Wars, Ninjago, The Lone Ranger, Lego City, Pirates of the Caribbean, Chima, monster hunters, Indiana Jones, Lego Batman and more! It contains over 90 minifigures, all with excesories and weapons! There are a ton of wheels for building cars and vehicles! There are a ton of weapons included, all of which are not actually dangerous! It even contains two tools that enable you to pry hard to get peices off one another! This is a great chance to develop your creativity, intuition and show just how good you really are! Thank you for your very precious time! Happy shopping!   I did not help him o...

I just heard a story I want to always remember. It's about a woman who lived a Tao-centered life. She came upon a precious stone while sitting by the banks of a running stream. She placed the highly valued stone in her bag. The next day, a hungry traveler approached the woman and asked for something to eat. As she reached into her bag for a crust of bread, the traveler saw the precious stone and imagine how it would provide him with financial security for the remainder of his life. He asked the woman to give the treasure to him, and she did, along with some food. He left, ecstatic over his good fortune and the knowledge that he was now secure. A few days later the traveler returned and handed back the stone to the wise woman. "I've been thinking," he told her. "Although I know how valuable this is, I'm returning it to you in the hopes that you could give me something even more precious." "What would that be?" the woman inquired. "P...