I just love Dr. Dyer. He has profoundly impacted my thoughts and way of being. Yesterday I was reading his book Real Magic and I particularly loved his advice: relinquish your need to be right.
Nobody likes to be proved wrong, especially publicly.
What is it in you that must be right? The more peace we invite into our lives and the more we focus on loving ourselves and others, the less we need to be right. We are able to subdue the urge to correct and instead we can simply say, "I don't see it that way," or we can just think that in our minds and smile as we allow others to express their opinions. There really isn't anything worth hurting feelings over. When was the last time you felt like you won a verbal engagement? Yes, you may have made your point and the other person may have retreated. Did you really change their mind? Or did you just get them to submit because they don't enjoy confrontation or they just decided to allow you to be right. Or maybe you did convince them of what you feel is their own stupidity, you may have won the argument, but you didn't win them over. They will most likely harbor resentment.
So the next time you feel like you need to be right, subdue your urge. Decide instead to relinquish your need to be right. You can still express your opinion, but keep it as such, your opinion. Remember, there is no such thing as one right way. There are many ways and one is right for you and another is right for another.
Dr. Dyer says it best:
I know how I feel about this and it is different than how he/she feels about this. I don't need to make her/him feel wrong so that I may feel right. It is enough for me to know in my mind what I know to be right for me. What is right for me, doesn't necessarily make it wrong for others.
If you can relinquish your need to be right, you will have created a miracle in that moment. And according to Dr. Dyer, that's the essence of Real Magic!
Nobody likes to be proved wrong, especially publicly.
What is it in you that must be right? The more peace we invite into our lives and the more we focus on loving ourselves and others, the less we need to be right. We are able to subdue the urge to correct and instead we can simply say, "I don't see it that way," or we can just think that in our minds and smile as we allow others to express their opinions. There really isn't anything worth hurting feelings over. When was the last time you felt like you won a verbal engagement? Yes, you may have made your point and the other person may have retreated. Did you really change their mind? Or did you just get them to submit because they don't enjoy confrontation or they just decided to allow you to be right. Or maybe you did convince them of what you feel is their own stupidity, you may have won the argument, but you didn't win them over. They will most likely harbor resentment.
So the next time you feel like you need to be right, subdue your urge. Decide instead to relinquish your need to be right. You can still express your opinion, but keep it as such, your opinion. Remember, there is no such thing as one right way. There are many ways and one is right for you and another is right for another.
Dr. Dyer says it best:
Confident people have no need to make others look bad. They know how they feel, they trust their own mind, and they allow others to interact with them in dignity rather than embarrasment.Spiritual beings have no need to prove others wrong. They have no need to win for they see all beings as equal. No need to be superior. The next time you feel the need to make someone wrong, have a simple conversation with yourself that goes like this:
I know how I feel about this and it is different than how he/she feels about this. I don't need to make her/him feel wrong so that I may feel right. It is enough for me to know in my mind what I know to be right for me. What is right for me, doesn't necessarily make it wrong for others.
If you can relinquish your need to be right, you will have created a miracle in that moment. And according to Dr. Dyer, that's the essence of Real Magic!
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