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Half Measures Won't Due

The title of this post in my mind was Half Measures Won't Do but when I typed it the title came out Half Measures Won't Due. The Freudian slip is revealing so I decided to keep it.

I was accepted into the two year mindfulness and meditation teacher certification training being offered by Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield. There was an application process, and while I'm pretty sure they won't turn anyone away who is willing to pay, I was pleased that I was offered a place as a "strong candidate."

When I received the notification of my acceptance, I was excited and then I was like, "Do I even want to do this?" I mean I know meditation is beneficial, but I'm more of a yogi than a meditator. I think about some of the retreats and assignments and I'm like, "this just is not my style." But then again, I haven't really ever committed myself to a dedicated meditation practice till now and I may not know nearly enough about the art to decide whether or not it is or is not for me.

Naturally, with my notice of acceptance, the balance of my tutition was due. I had already paid the $300 deposit leaving the balance at $6400. They asked if I wanted to just charge the credit card they had on file for the remaining amount and I said, "Well, the credit card company just mailed me a new card so the one you have on file may or may not work." The lady on the phone said she'd just process it and see what happened. In that split moment, I had a rush of interesting thoughts from how dumb all this new-age spirituality fluff is (picture JP Sears and his parodies) to what brilliant monetization and marketing Sounds True is up to. I've already purchased several downloads and courses from them and they just keep them coming. I thought about how sometimes it seems so impossible to really know for certainty what is true or if everything is wrong altogether--or if truth really is in everything. There really doesn't seem to be one right way, unless, of course, that one right way is loving others, serving others, and going about doing good. And as all these thoughts washed over me, I made a final decision. I decided that if the payment failed I would take the proessing failure as the sign that this course was lame, a scam, and totally not for me. If the payment did indeed go through, then I should proceed as planned and definitely follow through.

And to my non-attached surprise, the payment went through. So there you have it. I'm beginning a two-year long journey to become a mindfulness and meditation master. I figure if I'm going to really see if mindfulness and meditation is right for me, then I better thoroughly dive into it for as you know by now half measures won't do  . . . or was it half measures won't due!


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